Its been a dreaded time for me lately. It almost got affected with my job and made me paranoid. There are still things that can't be explained by just listening but instead, you have to scrutinize the shell of truth but I don't where to start cracking it. It made me lot of doubts even to myself that I can't visualize the exact point to guide me ways. I got all my mistakes I've done and its bolus to count I believe. I'm a guy just like everybody else, still looking for answers and that, I provoke myself to go under and instead, unbind the wind which is blurry to see. I keep on grasping but I was blind and dumb not to see and feel other person close to me. I hate myself so much that I cannot resolve everything. I'm selfish probably and my mind is clouded with negative insights anywhere and I'm trying to hold it down and slow the bleed. I had a feeling that I'm gonna be executed anyway so, I create so much respect for a lady that connects my current life. I'm the person who never hesitates and flaunts to new challenges everyday. But, then, I'm the person who easily frustrated if I cannot accomplish, though, its a hard to maintain but I will keep trying to maintain my composure.
I hurt 3 people on that day. First, my innocent child that was involved of every incident that MUST NOT be but its getting void because she's the neutral person and attached to my heart (of course!! I'm a parent now and I don't want to see my daughter suffering for unnecessary actions). second, my best friend WHO should not carry my legacy of pain because she has nice and jolly life (pretty sure you want to have her as a good friend) and lastly, the mother whom I hurt the most and very hard to get her in track now. I'm guilty of this I admit but there are reasons why it happened and I'm pretty sure GOD planned this too.
Well, I told myself that "Moving Forward" is the best word I can say from now on. I have to let the pain go now so I can I think and renew myself better. Life is a game, you win some, you lose some but its all worthy.
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